Aid me, I have been Candy Crushed Dominik Diamond
My wife has been playing Candy Crush for thirty minutes every day for as long as I can recall. I have told her it is useless casual gaming crap every morning for as long as she can remember. I decided I would try it myself because I now write for the Guardian and need to come up with a more elegant way to say it. Do not do the same, I ask you. In just one week, Candy Crush Soda Saga almost destroyed me. The game mechanics appeal to me. According to Oscar Wilde, a man does not appreciate life if he does not enjoy sliding objects into chains of three or more matching forms. This one has gummy bears and bubbly bottles wrapped in a charming candy veneer. And for that reason, the images are so seductive. A multisensory explosion of pure, bubbling ecstasy is created when you slide a Color Bomb into a Candy Fish. All of the candy that color gets Candyfished, and your eyes are treated to a plethora of them exploding across the screen, destroying everything. The tactile sensation is firm but soft.
Why is there a clicking sound? My spouse inquires. "Do not you use the haptic feedback while you play it?" "Oh, I thought that was damaging my phone, so I turned that off." "How?" "I thought it was exerting excessive pressure on it." She claims that she is Scotty, diverting a dangerous amount of power away from the shields, and that her phone is the USS Enterprise. https://surl.li/amfvlkWe played Candy Crush together in bed and spoke about it a lot. We used to do this sort of thing with broadsheet newspapers, and now we are matching jelly beans on phones. I am all for more connection between spouses. Fortunately, you can play with just one hand, allowing the other to continually hit yourself in the face when you realize how meaningless your existence has become.
https://surl.li/amfvlk
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